The Key to Pre-Ki
The befores is vastly underrated.
The afters. It’s a hot topic on what can seem like everyone's lips. Sometimes incessantly. I know a bit about that. For better or worse- legendary afters get tongues wagging. And a primo afters can sometimes, even give the party it preceded, a run for its money- and perhaps a few runs to the bodega.
The multitude of ways afters can vary are as numerous as the hours spent during those nights and days. While they might entail a bunch of cutting it up and horsing around, they can also skew towards dismal and a big ol whack waste of time. So what exactly is the je nais se quoi? The ins and outs are certainly in the eye of the beholder- but succinctly summed up, they’re the ones that leave you feeling energetically and perhaps emotionally recharged. That is of course, sleep depravity aside. And I’m here for them. Literally. For reals- I'm here, there and everywhere. However, all things being considered - an afters is not the end all be all.
As with a whole lot of things- and people, the important who and what don’t always get the shine and spotlight deserved. Which isn’t due to them solely just because they exist. But because we intrinsically feel the sustenance, value and deep impact they have on our lives. Though not always apparent at first, it can later unveil itself at unforeseen depths in a myriad of meaningful and surprising ways.
I’m talking about the “befores.” You know, the diametric opposite side of the party spectrum. I do admit, “befores” is anything but a sexy name, but I’m sure you catch my drift. It’s the time leading up to whatever the highly anticipated main event is. And a really choice pre-ki might even end up as the highlight of the night and/or day- maybe even your week.
And why?! In large part because folks are coming in fresh. I mean, at least as fresh they could muster at that given point in time. And more often than not, they’re primed and ready for the get down. The buzz in the air is palpable. And those who partake embark on catching theirs. In the arc of all things going out, it can prove to be the essential moment for a proper catch up. Because you can communicate without the hubbub of the party and a plethora of people distracting you while trying to dance or have dialogue over high decibels.
So, just exactly how does a hostess get the mostess? Or how do you become known as a patron saint of pre-parties? By focusing on the essential why, who, what and where.
WHY:
Hosts: Perhaps you’re a natural born party starter. Or this particular week you have ants in your pants or skirt. Whatever the reason, you wanna hang with your friends.
Friends: Well, the why is pretty obvious.
WHO:
Hosts: Are you looking to have a small and intimate gathering or a full blown soiree? Well that’s up to you. Set the tone from the get go when extending invites. Be explicit as to whether this is a one and done invite or if the more the merrier.
Friends: Contemplating bringing a +1, 2 or 25? Don’t just forward the text invite to every Tom, Dick and Harry. ASK the host if that’s okay. Sauntering in accompanied by the uninvited puts you in the position of acting like an asshole and can piss off the host. Who knows how they arrived at their guest list. And why put your friend in an awkward position?!
WHAT:
Hosts: Want to have a BYOB without the BS?! Be clear if you’d like folks to procure provisions before walking through the door. Why handle that type of business at the pre-party when you can do the leg work in advance? Make the most of the time with your friends.
And what music are you pumping? Is the party you’re going to expected to be 8 hours of beautiful non-stop melodic techno? Maybe switch it up to classic 90s jams before. On the flip side, maybe you’re extra geeked about the artist you’re going to hear and wanna listen to their mix. Whatever you decide- be choiceful.
Friends: It’s pretty simple- procure said provisions. Low on funds?! Perhaps just bring the fun and/or the ice. And don’t be the person persistently trying to take over the music if no one asked- that’s beyond annoying.
WHERE:
Hosts: If you’re anything like me- a lot of pre-kis happen in your home. Which in my case is at Tovah’s Bar & Grille. Welcoming friends into your abode? Perhaps avoid post party dread and clean up before you leave. Bonus being that you can coerce your friends into helping you pick up the place so you don’t later go to pieces washing dishes. This is especially important if you’re even slightly considering double dipping and hosting the afters too. Think of it as a clean slate to get messy- but not too messy all over again.
A pre-party is just one of many ways to get ready to go. But you know what's equally important- if not more so- your private ki. Especially in those sometimes butterfly inducing moments before a party. Okay, to be fair…I suppose they do occur any time you’re alone. And perhaps a friend invited you for hangs before, and maybe not. Regardless, and no matter your frame of mind- you've decided for whatever reason- this is a time you’re keeping to yourself.
It’s time to get ready for the function. Which could be a random or a rigid run of the mill routine. What you do is your business…however, it’s ever so fascinating. In a feat incomprehensible to me, some are ready in 10 minutes flat. And for others- 10 hours is pushing it. And who's to say what's right?! Except you regarding yourself. As for me? My friends are well aware (and sometimes annoyed) that any routine including a shower takes a minimum of 45 minutes. And that’s me moving at a speed that could break the sound barrier. More realistically it takes about an hour or more- okay fine, even up to two and a half. Especially if I don’t have a lewk laid out.
What you do in the shower or how you pick your clothes or your nose is again…none my bizness. But perhaps consider what's on your mind during those times. In the least shocking news- I have some suggestions:
MEDITATION: Especially helpful when I have a lot on my mind or coming out of a busy week like a tornado. Setting intentions is a bonus.
MUSIC: Set the tone for yourself.
EAT: Starting off on empty might bring you to a standstill earlier than you’d like. Load up on some sustenance. Exactly what? I dunno. You might want to avoid gassy foods though.
STRETCH: I fully admit I skip this crucial step waaayyyyy too often. And it’s really a must to get the most out of my dancing. Who wants to lose steam during their favorite tracks?
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER: Might be as simple as keys, wallet and phone. Or a full fledged party bag complete with snacks, medicine, tiger balm, deodorant- maybe even a douche. I dunno. Whatever it is or isn’t- just pack it up and zip it up so there’s no lamenting later.
Regardless of your ramp up routine- what you do (or don’t do) before a party has a direct impact that shouldn’t go underestimated. So I wanna know- what are your rituals for getting ready? How do you prepare for the pre-party get down? Leave your tips and tricks in the comments.