Projected Expectations
Letting up- when you feel let down.
Expectations are like assholes. Everyone has them. Okay…so that’s not exactly how the saying goes, but assumptions are same, same- albeit slightly different. Expectations bypass well-intentioned barricades self-erected in one’s brain- wriggling their way through and proving true. Too often culminating in disappointment, anger, sadness and even worse- wrath. Whether trite or monumental, the result of dashed hopes can range from bummed out for a bit to a full on mental spiral.
As hard as you might try to evade them- expectations can remain there, lingering in the air ready to swoop in and sully a good time, now gone awry.
And what might the expectations be about? Well, pretty much any noun about town- people, places and/or things. They might be expectations placed upon yourself. Or those projected onto family, friends, or even strangers. Perhaps it’s a dud of a party you'd been eagerly anticipating for eons. An album from a favorite producer whose right turn sounds completely wrong to your ears. It could even be about frustrations from a job you were fully convinced you’d land, but didn’t.
I don’t have suggestions to put the kibosh on expectations. I wish I did. But just maybe, we can redirect or quell negative energy stemming from hopes which proved false. And finagle and untangle tantrums that have got us in a twist- or perhaps even a tiff, into easy peasy energy. Some ideas on how to do so:
Be honest with yourself. Dream as you may- wishful thinking isn’t reality. Were the expectations concocted by your conscious or actually a promise now broken? Because if it’s the latter, that’s a whooooole ‘nother story. But drama that’s self induced is of no use.
Circumvent and redirect any unnecessary venting- particularly if it’s full of hot air…and cool off.
Does the circumstance involve another person or people? Did you lash out? Well then...hash it out. Ask to chat if it might improve your relationship. Should they accept, communicate calmly and really listen to what they have to say. And if the person has no interest in hearing you out- adjust your energy, boundaries and focus. Move on to what/who/where is next and know it’s for the best.
Recognize and cherish the things that still hold true about the person, place or thing. Put it in perspective. Like, hello…the world is giving dumpster fire gone haywire, so chillax.
And just because you perceive similar ethics and standards, know that logic and reasoning of ensuing actions or inactions varies wildly And that doesn’t necessarily preclude potential shared views and values.
Attempt to ground your feelings in the present rather than the past or future to help temper anxiety.
Do your unrealized expectations have common threads that add up to patterns? Self reflection and recognition can help cut them down to size and sweep them out of your mind.
Forecasts aren’t a foregone conclusion for fortune tellers, Nostradamus or you or me. And whether born of your subconscious or conscious, hanging your hat on assumptions of your mind can be more like self induced quicksand. Landing you in a pickle of one's own…pickling, picking and choosing.