Free your mind so they say. And then what? Many of my peak bliss moments involve losing my mind on the dancefloor. And then prancing puzzle pieces back together with a recalibrated perspective. Music and movement grease my wheels and lubricate my thoughts. And while twirling won’t solve for world peace or climate change, it can go miles (or yards) for your sanity.
The reality is that sometimes losing your mind isn’t of your choosing. Your brain chemistry, current affairs, the state of the world or past traumas might have you in a conscious or unconscious loop de loop. It’s in no way easy to recognize or even face those types of realities. So this article certainly isn’t a one size fits all attempt at a solution. And by all means- I have zero education or background in therapy or psychiatry. Dr. Feinberg has never been my calling nor will it ever be. I’m only drawing from personal experiences and what I’ve observed amongst my friends and acquaintances. Now is a better time than ever to address something that permeates every nook and cranny of your life- your mental health.
For those in the Northern hemisphere, this time of year can blow a lot more than wind. Short and overcast winter days can cast long shadows in your mind resulting in a downtrodden hibernation mode. I know some freakazoids for whom this time of year is everything. For those folks, I admire your freakazoid-ness, for reals. But for the rest of us for whom sunshine and warmth are an ultimate mood elevator- be cognizant of how weather impacts you. Perhaps it’s not you, it’s the weather. For those with seasonal affective disorder (SAD), light therapy can be a literal shining beacon of hope.
Who and what is surrounding you on the daily? Can you make any adjustments for the amount of time spent on anyone or anything that’s sucking the life out of you. Recognize your emotional vampires and banish them- for a moment or the unforeseen future. They’re not worth it. Consider yourself first and foremost- 4eva and always. If someone or something is clowning and bringing you down, then turn that upside down. Focus on the aspects of your life where you can enact positivity. If something, someone or somewhere is an unmovable object, identify where that energy, time or breath could be better spent. One bonus being that when you’re in a good place, you can be more present for others too.
Social media can be a murky bog that can tend to bring one down- especially as of late. Many of my recent columns have touched on its harmful effects. That being said, it can have some redeeming qualities. But if you’re anything like me, the negative skews that scale drastically. I was discussing this quandary with a friend who feels similarly, but has to use social media for work. Their idea was ingenious. Just delete the app from your phone when it’s not needed and add it back when you need to post something. And then take it right back off. Use your computer browser to check messages and notifications when necessary. It’s waaayyyy less engaging than infinite swiping. If my friend with a large following can do it, I decided that I certainly can too. So I tried the method out and it made a world of difference. I of course post Rants and Raves, some personal ish and peruse my grid every so often, but I’m less and less drawn to it day by day. What’s replaced it are a clearer frame of mind, more meaningful conversations, time for myself and lots and lots of word games. The shift has been seismic.
If the social media echo chamber has you wanting to cover your ears, eyes, duck and cover- I suggest considering it. At first you might feel as if you’re missing out- but anything of importance tends to come to surface via other routes. As for the rest- whatever. If it’s not doing you good- then begone! Live in the present.
Do you partake in drinking and/or substances? What’s fun for the moment might be a mistake for the days ahead. What feels good in the immediate is not worth ingesting if it has potential for a negative long term effect. So perhaps take a break. Or quit whatever that thing is forever. The important thing is to do something about it. Just because you’ve done something for years doesn’t mean it’s healthy today. With fentanyl and xylazine rampant- now is a better time than ever to do so. Take an inventory every so often of substances- drugs, drinks, food or otherwise to determine whether they’re additive, depleting or maintaining your status quo. And take action to diminish anything that’s not serving you long term.
And then there’s the parties. The oh so fun parties that give you life- or so it seems. Do the days that follow the nights drag you down due to lack of sleep and substances? If the parties aren’t actually giving for the totality of your life, put them on pause. You might miss a night, or two or 30- but trust, the time to recalibrate allows you to keep at it long term. Remember, it’s all one long party that you can hop in and out of. F*ck FOMO- if it’s not doing your mind or body justice, then take a break. For as long as it takes. When ready you can return to the dancefloor without losing a step or a beat- trust, I’ve done it myself
Journaling can be helpful too. I’m of course a writer (DUH)- but I was doing so before that was an inkling of a thought. I’m not consistent, but it tends to help when I do. No one has to see your innermost thoughts on paper but you. So get out your stream of consciousness onto the physical form. Expelling your emotions with pen and ink does wonders. Or on your phone or computer. Wherever! There’s no right or wrong. You can write what seems like gobbledygook, pros and cons, keep track of your feelings, write a 10 point plan or a dissertation. Big or seemingly small- the point is to see your written thoughts. And the next time you open your journal to make an entry, read the last one back before you write. It’s bewildering how far that reflection now might be from reality, or to discover how much progress you’ve made.
And then of course there’s seeking help. Because some things are way more difficult- or seemingly impossible to solve in your own head. It’s a travesty that the healthcare system in many countries is garbage. And even if you’re fortunate enough to have health insurance- its coverage or lack thereof of mental health is a terrible attempt at a joke. Whether paying out of pocket or as a deductible, the expense is too much for many. A luxury that often lags in priority behind basic needs. If you find yourself in that position- I’m no one to tell you what to spend your money or lack thereof on. Only you know that. But consider anything you might be able to reallocate. Whether it be going out, eating out, party favors, Ubers…whatever is extraneous. Because focusing on you first will pay dividends on every inch and iota of your life. I’ve put together a list of free resources which might be helpful below.
Though the path to a better headspace might seem as remote as the South Pole, you’ll never ever get there without taking a step. Be objective. And give thought to whether your frame of mind is even partially of your choosing. There will be stumbles back, but know you’re worth charging forward. If you have the wherewithal, you can choose to try rather than stay at the status quo. The worst that can happen is likely already your reality, so if you have even a fraction of the capability then why not attempt to change it? Wishing for magic is no match for sheer will and action. Do you have any practices that have helped you navigate through tough times? Please leave them in the comments along with any resources you might have. Let’s help each other help ourselves.
988lifeline.org or call 988: Free and confidential 24/7 hotline in NYC that can provide counseling, support and referrals.
NAMI: Has mental health programs, support groups and resources across states. 800-950-6264
Crisis Text Line: Provides 24/7 support with a counselor via text or chat.
CIMHS: The Centre for Interactive Mental Health Solutions provides 8 sessions of free online cognitive behavioral therapy.
SAMHSA: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration provides resources for a wide array of issues.