It’s preposterous that I need to write a piece about this topic. Because, what I assumed to be common sense, doesn’t appear to be a widely known fact as of late. Which is, why do some people feel so bold as to bother DJs with trivial nonsense during their set?
The majority of people I’m referring to aren’t close friends with the DJ. They might not even know who they are. But somehow they feel fresh and familiar enough to pony up to the booth for a banal chit chat. This rude AF person just can’t wait to share their riveting thoughts about the track or “deep knowledge” of the artist. Or even worse, to promote themselves and gab about their upcoming gigs. Approaching the DJ mid-set and demanding their attention makes it plain as day that you have zero clue or respect for what they do. And I’m talking about the pros here. The ones who take the craft and art seriously. The artists who create gorgeous journeys, rich with storytelling and dripping with emotion. It takes a tremendous amount of skill, focus and energy to do that masterfully. They need to constantly monitor what the dancefloor is giving, choose tracks and beatmatch. And on top of it, there’s all those knobs and buttons they use to manipulate the sound. So they’re working. Intently and intensely.
Let’s step further into one of these blabber mouth’s nonsensical shoes, shall we.
Let’s pretend you’re a super fan that has little couth or awareness (at least in this moment). And you’re convinced you have an intimate relationship with the DJ because their music sparked something within your soul. It’s as if they’re reading your mind. And you have so much you want to say back. Well folks, now’s not the time to saunter up for small talk, an in depth conversation, make a new bestie or anything in between. The DJ is playing for everyone, not just you. This is a giving moment, not a receiving one. So though direct dialogue might seem inviting, it is not. It is, however, an open call for an internal monologue and twirls with your fellow dancers. The reciprocation the DJ’s looking for are your moves, energy and enthusiasm.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t say anything at all. But expecting personal attention from someone deep in focus is entitled and rude as f*ck. Would you like a DJ to pop up out of nowhere at your job- whether you’re in a meeting, waiting on a table, or intensely working on a spreadsheet and butt in with an asinine comment or question? No you wouldn't. And they don't either. What’s welcome are encouraging remarks like “YAASSS! “SICK!” or “WERK!.” They reassure the DJ that they’re on the right track (literally) and give them motivation and ideas for direction.
And if you're good friends with the DJ and happen to catch their eye- blow a kiss, smile or wave. Many like to know that their closest and dearest are on the dancefloor supporting them. But here’s the catch. You can’t expect a response back. If they choose to chat, that’s their prerogative obviously, and by all means go ahead and gab away.
And then there’s the morons unaware that the person they’re talking to is the DJ. They just saddle up to the booth and order a margarita. It’s like, hellooooo numbnuts, is there anybody home?!! Clearly not, so perhaps go home. Immediately. And then strongly reflect before returning to a dancefloor ever again. Or get glasses. Either way, just don’t do it. I don’t care how fucked up one might be, the DJ booth does not look like a bar. Even through heavy fog or a hit of acid. Is your phone battery at 2%? The solution isn’t to hand it to the DJ along with a cable and demand they charge it through their CDJ. I heard a story recently of someone actually throwing their phone aggressively on the mixer. The gall. The nerve. If I was DJing (which has and will never ever happen) I’d throw their phone on the floor and stomp on it.
Also, the booth is not a coat check. So don’t walk up with your ticket in hand. Or if you were somehow able to store your ish in the booth earlier, don’t demand the DJ to get it for you. A friend told me that someone got super angry and even threatened violence because they couldn’t grab their jacket and the DJ rightfully refused to look for it mid-set. Whack and wild.
And bothering the DJ with unnecessary rubbish is even worse if you know them personally. Because if you respect their art then why are you asking them to stop in their tracks (once again, literally), leave the booth and go to the door to get their friend in the party? That's some sh*t they or you should have sorted beforehand. And if not, you need to now. It should go without saying but, asking the DJ for drugs is a hard no as well. I cannot believe that’s something that happens. Like, where are your priorities?!
And regardless if you’re a bestie, bff, fan, lover, or stalker- for goodness sake, don't ever, ever, ever interrupt the DJ while they're in the middle of a mix. You know, that pinnacle moment they’re making track selections, working the mixer and/or moving knobs and buttons. They need all their wits about them for f*cks sake. And you shaking them up during those mixing moments only shows your ass- to everyone watching.
You might have clocked that I haven’t mentioned the most common question asked of the DJ while they’re playing. That’s because it’s so egregious that it needs an entire column dedicated to it. Which is: NO REQUESTS. And as you can imagine I have a whole lot to say about that- so more to come.