An Unwanted Follower
Lurking in the shadows.
“Reality Unchecked” is a new series by Rants and Raves that takes a twist on already preposterous- and often unhinged scenarios that really, really happened.**
**Elaborations range from slight to ludacris. How much they’re fictionalized only I know.
The bar lights flicked on. To be fair, last-call had been called not once, but twice so it shouldn't have come at any surprise. The bubbly conversation amongst my friends over prosecco burst as we begrudgingly emerged from our cozy nook.
I adjusted my eyes to the now bright, desolate bar. The message was clear as night. It was time to skedaddle. I made haste so as not to waste more of the bartender’s time and dashed to the bathroom to…freshen up for the long-ish ride to the far other side of Brooklyn.
I emerged in just 2 minutes flat. Well…perhaps it was 4 and strode to the door.
An unfamiliar voice suddenly pierced my right ear out of left field. I didn’t see her coming. Nor had I ever seen the precocious woman before.
“I love your jacket. Where did you get it?” she asked while walking in unison with me as I briskly headed outside.
She was serving fresh and familiar body language that was far too close for my comfort- as if we’d known each other for years. But I had never seen this person in my life. But then again, compliments weren’t exactly abnormal on this particular jacket. My Adidas puffer had a rich black velvety sheen and white stripes that was clearly made for turning heads.
“Thanks, I got it somewhere online.” I really wasn’t trying to be elusive and keep my shopping sources to myself. I just happened to be a few sheets to the wind as the cold wind whipped around. I glanced over at my friends who were looking at me curiously as they called a car.
I was about to walk towards them, but my vague answer just wouldn’t do for this woman. She persisted for an answer not once, but thrice. I mean, she meant well enough, but I was eager to escape the grilling and get in a warm car to resume the hot topics bookmarked in the nook.
Exasperated I replied, “I really have no idea, I got it a few years ago.”
The woman then leaned in even closer and her tone dropped in a low and panicky way, ”I don’t feel safe, this guy at the bar was saying weird things to me. And he’s standing right over there staring at us and I think he might follow me home! Please help, I’m just right around the corner.”
Nuff said. Instantaneous fight or flight mode. And since I’m not trying to get in a brawl with some random dude, flight becomes us.
My senses were now finely attuned to her reality. I glanced towards the shadowy figure lurking and leering at us quickly so as not to antagonize some creep.
I nonchalantly gave my best “long lost friend” surprise and delight show and wrapped my arm snuggly around her shuddering shoulders and whispered:
“Where do you live?”
She motioned down the street, “just around the corner.” Teary eyed she explained “I don’t know…he was being weird, something just shifted. And I don’t know- I don’t know…so sorry, so sorry, so sorry, so sorry.”
“GURL. No apologies, I’m just glad you’re being safe!” I said as we took what I meant as reassuring long strides
A few city blocks and minutes later, frightened we might still have a stalker, I peered over my shoulder. And my heart sank to my stomach. Stranger danger. That same tall solitary figure was about half a block back and was clearly tracking us. She pointed to her building and I ushered her across the street as she whipped out her keys and fumbled at the lock.
We exhaled with relief once inside as she ran towards her ground floor apartment and unlocked the door. She breathlessly leaned back as if to further barricade it with her back .
My eyes adjusted to the lights and I got a clearer look at her terrified and teary face. Suddenly I realized that we were in a fishbowl. Her window curtains were wide open and at street level no less. I leapt over the couch and whisked them shut to protect us from the peering of this potential perp.
My heart went out to her as she floundered to describe the scenario. “It’s not so much what he said, but how he said it. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, so sorry, so sorry!”
I reassured her that details were absolutely unnecessary. “Sometimes it’s not what is said, but how it’s said. And too many of us give strangers cred and ignore the instinctual warning bells in our heads. You know, the ones that seem subtle and ring quietly that in retrospect were actually blaring sirens that shouldn't have been ignored.”
The woman’s panic subdued slightly as I continued to do my best to calm her frayed nerves.
Suddenly, it occurred to me that my friends, whom I had abandoned on the corner, were probably flummoxed and concerned as to what had happened.
I texted my friends a synopsis of the scenario and had a quick reply- which was my ringing phone. I word salad-ed the scenario out briefly. My friend, one of the most emotionally attuned to humanity and caring people I know- was laughing. I was flummoxed and livid.
That is until he said, “Tovah, that was me following you making sure you're okay. I was literally calling your name over and over and over again.
“Whatever,” I told him, “we were fleeing the scene of a could-be crime.
I hung up the phone on him, sighed and with partial relief relayed what had happened. Which was met by nervous laughter cutting through some of the tension.
So then we settled into her sofa as she reverted to her scary saga.
I again reassured her, “there's really no need to be sorry- cause you’re safe. Your instincts led us to safety.
“Well..what if I misread him? And made you come all this way? And..maybe I took what he said the wrong way?!”
I got down to brass tacks and reiterated further that, “I really think that people should always ask for help to be safe- even at the risk of being silly, in any circumstance. Because humankind can turn on a dime. Especially in these times.”
It was time to distract and change the conversation to something lighter. I started describing my friend who we had mistaken to be chasing us down the street just about 10 minutes before. Flustered and babbling, I started talking about their clothing line and whipped out my phone to show off their wares.
She tore the phone out of my hands and with wild eyes said, “that's him!!! That the creep that was freaking me out at the bar!!!!”
JFC. My friend was clearly gay and in no way trying to hoodwink her. I mean…his bright blue eyes do radiate with intensity (ahem, it takes one to know one). But c’mon- even beer goggles couldn't read them as danger…so I thought. Hers were of course the exception.
Our relief was met with raucous laughter. A welcome reprieve as I called an Uber to leave.
So y’all- all in all, my point is you can't be too safe. Oopsy daisy over calamity any night or day of the week for sure. Way, way too many people get in unsafe circumstances by not following their instincts. And whether you end up being right or wrong, you’ll never know. Safety is all that matters. Especially now.