A Proper Path Forward
A dancefloor dilemma.
Dancefloors are very often congested. Gobs of people- sometimes globbed together, at near or actual skin to skin contact. Each embodying a unique stream of consciousness- characterizing beats, harmonies and melodies through movement. Their extremities react, reflexing to sound- this, that and the other way. To what angle and extension they might protrude is anyone’s guess. It’s a real life, 3D version of Frogger through the invisible planes of space and time.
Clearly laid out lanes of egress on dancefloors don’t naturally exist. And even if they could, a sidewalk of sorts would be a waste of space- and seemingly impossible. Factor-in fog and lighting (either lack-of or pulsating) to the atmosphere- and suddenly just traversing these ever-moving mazes resembles a decathlon level Olympic sport.
But alas, make your way through the malay you must. Because the front left speaker, the nook of your dreams or perhaps your friends in the middle are the places that feel good right about now. At the edge of the dancefloor, your eyes strain, surveying the kinetic landscape for the most unobtrusive route to your destination and you take a step forward.
Well, at least, that’s what one does in an ideal scenario. Then there’s the polar opposite type of person. The ones who brashly barrel through like clumsy bowling balls. Plowing through places for prancing as if their fellow partygoers are ghosts. Or maybe the rude space-intruders are convinced they’re entitled and untouchable. I mean…we all take up space. But for fucks sake, have some grace.
Like, hello… I may be blunt, but I’m not transparent. I’m made of solid mass just like everyone else on this earthly plane. And a body check when a person’s in direct purview is beyond rude. And I’m not even gonna lay into what that makes me (wanna) do.
It does make me wonder- are these outright offenders oblivious or do they just not care when on the receiving end of a collision? Are you a person unbothered by bumper car bullshittery? If so, please do tell how you maintain such nonchalance when getting knocked around.
We’re all prone to being the receiving end of physical impact while prancing. But fact is, some are more susceptible to it than others. Have self awareness and respect for people whose experiences differ from yours- whether because of race, gender, ableism, body size or anything else. And if getting through a tight squeeze looks to be anything but a breeze? Perhaps say “excuse me” as you pass on by. A little- or a lot of manners goes a long way.
A trifecta of skill, etiquette and art are key to navigating dancefloors with limited nudging. Aptitude for such maneuvers are honed over time, even for those gifted with fast reflexes and heightened spatial awareness, Techniques and styles vary from the staccato to the fluid. Mine lies somewhere in that range and incorporates a bob and weave hand-motion that’s part air traffic controller and part girl in the early 2000’s Mitsubishi Eclipse commercial (EEEKK!)
Even with the best laid intentions, it’s of course inevitable that you’ll bump into people. But why not tap into your senses and try to do it less?! Because who wants to be disturbed and perturbed by people ping-ponging across the floor without any sense of the havoc they implore. Because parties are more than stomping grounds, they’re places that should allow us all room to play around.